Saturday, July 03, 2010

Majesty from the dust

Many of you know that recently my brother lost his earthly battle with cancer and went on to his reward, he was younger than me so there is the taste of injustice in my soul but the Lord was ahead of me so let me rewind for you the events of late:

My brother had already defeated Crones disease, he was a man of faith and determination, so when he got the diagnosis back in Dec. he became resolute in his confession and his course of action, and never once did he ask "why"?

We had many conversations over the last 6 months, times when he was wavering in his confidence and moments when he needed a reminder of Gods faithfulness, I found it a joy and delight to encourage him, to remind him that God had given him a word of healing and the only real course was to remain steadfast in his faith. He was, and he did.

Even up to the last he never faltered in his confession, it was his core belief that God would heal him completely...and then July 2 at 4:30 in the a.m. he died...apparently not having obtained the promise.

Everyone at his house (I was there at the moment he breathed his last) had said, "he waited for you Mark", all day long my mom, and his wife, and my sister told him, "Mark is coming" he had lost all ability to respond but his breathing always changed, or he would indicate by moving his arm or leg that he understood, it was the only thing he responded to in his last 48 hours...

Of course when I got there I was shocked by his physical condition, but I immediately began to pray in tongues and held his hand, told him I loved him and just sat...about 6 hours later he took a few large breathes and finally died...but it was kind of obvious that IF he was waiting on something it must have been me...and I already knew why...

See on the flight over I had fallen asleep, it was about a 3 hour flight and I was listening to "You came to my rescue" by Hillsong United on repeat, and as I dozed I had a dream.

In my dream I was going to a train station, the trains were flying by very fast going all kinds of directions, and a gentleman whom I knew to be the Holy Spirit took me into a small waiting room attached to the station. Inside the waiting room was my brother and my dad (who passed away in 1994), and Jesus... they were all sitting on benches and Jesus was polishing a silver sword with a small white stone. My dad looked incredible, he was buff like he had been working out and I told him, "You look great, much different than the last time I saw you" (I have seen him before in a dream). He said "Yes I've been growing in the love of God", and he and John continued making small talk and laughing while Jesus finished polishing the sword.

John was completely whole, he looked young and vibrant again, and I could tell he was finally home and he and dad were excited to do some things together for the Lord but they were waiting on me to come to the station so that the two of them could leave and get on with their plans.

Finally Jesus finished the last bit of polishing and handed me the sword, I looked at him kind of shocked because I knew that it was Johns sword, it was his faith for wholeness, it was his battle with cancer and I also knew that the small white stone was Johns identity (*see Rev. 2:17), it was his name that was being applied to the sword, so I asked Him, "This is Johns doesn't he need it?", Jesus smiled and said "No, he gets a much better one here, besides its of no use in heaven, but it had to be dipped in heaven so it can be used on earth"...then the dream ended and when I woke up we were flying in a cloud (for real).

This is one of those prophetic dreams, where you know stuff without asking, where timing is more important than time, where understanding flows between you and everyone in the dream without any effort, and communication is clear and sharp, it was a God dream and probably as real an event as the airplane ride itself, because when I got to Johns house even my nephew commented that John was there but it was clear that he was somewhere else even more.

The day before I flew out I had gone out into the desert of Tucson to pray, my heart was heavy and as I walked thru the dusty desert landscape, I passed by an old beat up penny...the Holy Spirit immediately said, "Go back and pick that up", I protested saying "Its just an old penny", and the Lord corrected me saying "I never waste anything"...and my mind immediately remembered the feeding of the 5000, where they took up all the left over fragments, so that nothing was wasted. I knew God was speaking to me about what I was getting ready to encounter, He wanted me to prepare my heart and save every part of the experience because He does not waste anything.

Which means Johns faith and confession cannot possibly be wasted, it must be collected and passed on just like the faith of Timothy had originally resided in his grandmother Lois and then his mother Eunice, faith is apparently something that can be transferred (2Tim. 1:5) and for some reason Johns faith had to be "dipped in heaven" (which is part of the dream I have not sorted out yet).

If you are skeptical (God help you, He's the only one who can), and believe that John died and his confession and faith was wasted because he failed to obtain the promise then let me leave you with one last verse:

Hebrews 11:39-40 "And these all, having obtained a good report through faith, received NOT the promise, God having provided some better thing for us, that they without us should not be made perfect"

The basic principle here is that it is possible to go on to heaven never seeing on earth the fulfillment of the promise, so that perfection comes through others who are left behind...

The sword of his faith had to be dipped in heaven...somehow in that waiting room that place between heaven and earth, it was finished, and it was left here for us...my basic belief is that I have been given Johns sword, I am going to pray even harder and with more faith than ever before for cancer patients, and I know in my heart, that I will see them healed, because my brothers faith will be made perfect.

I believe God has already given him the victory sword and his reward for winning over cancer in heaven and I'm sure they are celebrating his victory...which we get to enforce on earth...you watch in the next 5-10 years cancer will be a completely defeated disease, both by the church and by the science community, its days are severely limited and my brother gets credit in heaven that we will use on earth.

God wastes nothing...not a dusty penny in the dirt, and certainly not the trial of faith, He makes it Majestic and in His infinite wisdom spreads the victory around so that all of us get to participate and enforce the victory that the First Son purchased through His death and resurrection...majesty from the dust.




Post Script:

As I have played with my niece and been the best goofy, dorky uncle I know how, I have watched joy begin to replace sadness, it is gradual but unavoidable, children have a contagious resiliency that is wrapped up in the joy of living in the moment.

The weird thing I am noticing is my mind wants me to feel guilty for joy...let me make this perfectly clear, joy is NEVER illegal, as a matter of fact it is the core of rejoicing always which is a command in the New Testament.

The enemy (and our own predisposition to depression) would like to make us feel guilty that we have joy, can laugh and smile even when pain is so obviously near, because if the devil can steal your joy, he can rob you of the blessings that come with it, you should never, ever, under any circumstances feel guilty for joy, if you do, just rebuke that feeling since it is not from the Lord.

If the joy of the Lord is your strength, why on earth would He ever make you feel guilty or depressed for having it?... it is not God when you feel guilty for joy, it is hell trying to make one final stab at your heart...

I recommend you use some "kung-fu-ninja-karate-girl" laughter to ignore and rebuke that nonsense it is not from God, joy is a door into His favor and blessing that will never end, please choose to go through it...for the sake of the ninja girls!

3 comments:

  1. Wow, what an awesome experience in this difficult time in your life. It's amazing how God can turn your mourning into joy and show you things you never would have seen unless you went through this dark place. He is amazing! Thanks for sharing your heart.

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  2. Anonymous5:56 PM

    Mark,
    It is encouraging that God does not waste anything, and that John's faith will continue to grow through your faithfulness to carry the sword.

    Grief is messy sometimes, but God is good and I'm glad you know His ways are of purpose.

    Thank you for sharing.
    Katrina

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  3. I love the kindness of God. He gives the point before the experience so that we know what to do with the experience. Even with the most painful experiences His Spirit provides ahead of time for it, then walks through it with us. God it truly good. I am sorry you don't get to have your brother with you here in this life, but so glad the God walked you through it.

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